It has been nearly twelve years since we first began our TTC adventure, and I can still remember the bewilderment of entering the Reproductive Endocrinologist’s office for the first time [hear my story HERE and HERE. You can also read my adoption story beginning HERE.] I can recall the smells, colors, sounds of the elevator, and the silence in the waiting room, as the patient’s averted one another’s eyes.
“I know why you’re here. It’s the same reason I’m here. So, let’s not talk about it.”
Twelve years has made a load of difference in my attitude toward infertility. Were I still in those waiting rooms, I would venture longer eye contact, a gentle smile, and maybe a simple “how’s it going?” There are no words, really, to convey the message “I get you, and I know you get me. Thank you for holding a space where I get to be me, exactly where I am – emotionally, mentally, and physically.”
There was a lot of shame for me back then. All of the reasons my body could not hold a pregnancy were a mystery to me, and my mind interpreted that in to failure. To make matters worse, people didn’t have the first clue as to how to support me in my pain. They didn’t understand the pain in the first place.
“Just adopt!” and “Just relax!” comments were superfluous. Then there were the occasional, “Oh just get drunk – that’s how I got pregnant with all six of my kids!” I went to a therapist who said, “I just look at my wife, and she gets pregnant!” Side note: He also called me Counselor instead of my name – so NOT where I needed my headspace to be when going to a therapist.
Now, though? I honor that pain. I honor that people had no friggin’ idea what to say to me. I honor that it took me three tries before I found a therapist who had an inkling about infertility. I honor all of it, because the infertility community was just beginning to get the word out.
I am also honored to keep the torch going every year during Resolve’s National Infertility Awareness Week.
This year’s theme? Flip the Script! No more shame, no more discrimination, no more thinking infertility is easily fixed by adopting or doing IVF. It’s been twelve years, and I think about our struggles to conceive every day, as I work with people who were in my shoes. I want to hug myself from back then. And I want to invite her to get involved, educate, and be the change that is needed in order for the public to know what this medical condition is like.
“Together, we can change how others view infertility. It begins with being part of a national movement, National Infertility Awareness Week®. This week unites millions of Americans who want to remove the stigmas and barriers that stand in the way of building families.” -Resolve.org #flipthescript
So, how do YOU get involved? Here are just a few ideas:
- Write a blog, and spread it on social media (don’t forget to tag @resolve and use #flipthescript and #niaw)
- Make a video and spread it on social media
- Be a guest on a podcast like Beat Infertility and tell your story
- Host a Walk of Hope in your area
- More ideas HERE over at Resolve’s Infertility Awareness page
In honor of #NIAW, I am holding a raffle for THREE FERTILITY COACHING sessions! Just email me at info@drmariarothenburger.com to enter or complete the Contact Me form below. You can also share a bit about your story, and I will share it anonymously on a future Miracles Happen Fertility Podcast.
Until next time, be well,
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