I’ll be the first one to tell you that I am a sunshine-and-rainbows kinda gal. I (mostly) always see the bright side of things and am able to find silver linings in even the darkest places. The glass is always half full – unless, of course, you consider the air in it, too. Then it’s always FULL. <— See? Sunshine and rainbows.
I mean, shoot, I wrote my dissertation on Posttraumatic Growth – how people can actually be better after having experienced a trauma (specifically infertility).
I know.
Sometimes I’m on the brink of taking it too far. But then my left-brained analytical self finds the evidence, and I’m all “things are awesome” again.
All this considered, it’s pretty weird that I’m even contemplating positive thinking in a non-positive way.
Here’s the thing, positivity is awesome. It trumps doom and gloom any day. But it isn’t everything.
I was recently listening to a talk by Deepak Chopra wherein he described a patient that would come into his office who was “so positive, he made me nervous.” If you know of Dr. Chopra, you know that it’s difficult to imagine anything on the planet making him nervous. As he continued, he said something that really stuck with me:
“Even a positive mind, is a turbulent mind. Peace lies in the gap between thoughts.”
How profound is THAT?
I started examining my own positive thoughts. Is my mind turbulent? (yes) And more importantly, is it causing stress? (probably)
If you think about it, even positive experiences can be stressful. Case in point: I jumped out of a plane for our 10th wedding anniversary (eep!). After landing, I wanted to jump again right away. But, yup. I was stressed.
There was a moment though, once the parachute was out, that we just sort of floated in the air. I took in the breathtaking vast beauty of the desert. I noticed. Just noticed.
The moment didn’t last too long before my mind chatter started up again and I struck up a conversation with the guy strapped to my back. And as I think about it now, that moment was peace. It wasn’t just filled with peace, it was peace. Does that make sense?
This last Monday was not only Memorial Day, it was Gotcha Day in our family. The day when our son came home to be with us forever. So, of course, I was reflecting on that day, looking at the photos, and realized I had that peace thing again.
There was a moment when my new baby (then 18 months old) and I laid on the floor just staring at each other. Getting to know one another. There was nothing to worry about. There was nothing to do. But stare. And feel immense gratitude and profound peace.
I wish that for you guys.
I wish that when you are pregnant, or matched with a baby via adoption, or matched with a birth mother, or whatever path you’re on to finally getting that miracle baby in your arms, you experience moments of profound peace.
Everything is going to be okay.
Everything IS okay.
Until next time be well,
~Dr. M
