Apologies for the radio silence over the last couple of days. I’ll cover HAWMC’s Days 12 and 13 today.
(You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here)
Day 12 is “Stream of Consciousness Day.” I know….um, what? It’s actually a unique blog-writing style that I usually engage in when I keep posts private. Ha! The instructions are to write about whatever is in our head right this moment; “just write, don’t stop, don’t edit.”
Yikes! Here we go:
“That walk/run was really great with the sun shining and the birds chirping [seriously..that’s in my head right now]. Jake [the dog] is really getting the hang of running with me. What do I have to do right now for work — sheesh if only the dog [a different dog] would stop barking at whatever she’s barking — *sigh* That’s better. Crap, I’m editing, I’m not supposed to do that….okay, here goes crazy punctuation and misspellings. How the heck amd I supose to tie this to infertlity? I have no idea. Um….well, running is great for icnreasing blood flow to the uterus, which is awesome for fertility. Moderate running that is. This is totally not taking me 15 minutes….I had no idea this exercise would be so difficult! I feel like another run. Bye!”
Whoa. My head is weird. Do you ever feel like that? There’s this great exercise in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) called thought stopping. Whenever you feel as if there are a ton of thoughts that won’t go away or a persistent thought that just keeps hanging around, tell yourself silently or out loud (I often use the out loud version): STOP!!! Just STOP! Sometimes holding your hand up in front of your face helps, and other times a visual of a stop sign helps. I find relief with that technique often.
I can think of numerous situations where this technique is great for the infertile’s mind. Can you?
I’m assuming, however, that for the purposes of this post, I am alone on this island. Though I cannot tie my entire list to fertility, I can connect the island isolation with the isolation of infertility. Many people feel so, so alone. You are not! Check out RESOLVE for more info. A big digression…sorry. So, let’s see….here’s my top ten list off the top of my head (practical or not and probably out of order):
1) Two book series: The Clan of the Cave Bear and
2) Harry Potter.
3) Elvis Presley vinyls to play on my
4) Crank-powered record player
5) A grill
6) Fishing gear
7) Seasonings
8) Camera
9) Hiking boots
10) My husband (okay, he’s seriously not the last thing)
Wait. I’m not on a desert island vacation? Oops. Hey, looking at this list, I’m realizing that these are some things that make me happy even not on a tropical island somewhere.
Well, except for the crank-powered record player. Only because I don’t have one. Though now I’m thinking it might be cool to have one. Another digression.
Point being, if you’re dealing with infertility, it’s so easy to get caught up in the what-ifs of trying to become a parent (for the first time or again) that we lose sight of what’s right in front of us. Pay attention to your loves right now. You can deal with the what-ifs as they show up.
Be well,
~M
