Ah yes…the ol’ “relax and it’ll happen” thing. Have any of you wanted to punch someone in the nose for saying that to you? What are the other variations? “Oh, just go on vacation.” Or “Hey we just got drunk one night, and oops…!”
To someone going through infertility, these – eh-hem – suggestions are like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Listen up, friends and loved ones, do NOT say any of these things to someone struggling to conceive. If you do, and the dragon is released, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just trying to protect you, here. 😉
Let’s take a look at stress and fertility for a minute, though, TTCers.
What happens when our brains signal the stress response? Our heart rates increase, the brain signals the release of adrenaline and cortisol, blood flows away from the surface of our bodies, and away from non-essential organs.
Non-essential organs: Stomach. Bowels. Reproductive organs. (There may be a couple more)
That’s right. I’ve never heard of a gazelle stopping to mate while being chased by a lion, have you? And yet, humans attempt to do that all the time!
To be fair, our bodies are meant to handle stress.
Our bodies are amazing things, actually. All of the mechanisms by which they handle stress are nothing short of a miracle. The caveat here is that we are meant to handle being chased by a lion, and once the lion is gone, we return to homeostasis. That means, our bowels and reproductive organs know they can come back out and play.
The mega problem facing us today is that the lion doesn’t ever go away.
We are continuously under threat of something in our minds, which signals our brains to pump a bunch of adrenaline and cortisol into our bodies over and over, which (surprise!) shuts down those non-essential organs. Throw in infertility, and you’ve got a whole new level of stress.
Does infertility happen to everyone? Obviously not. Stress manifests in people in different ways. But, infertility is yours. Even if you have a physical condition that was present before you began to stress, the fact that you’re chronically stressing doesn’t help in any way.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends a variety of ways to manage stress. Yoga, breathwork, exercise, and journaling are some of those recommendations. They also list meditation, which I am a huge advocate for (as you can see in my new Fertility Shop!).
What happens when you engage in one of these activities? Essentially, you mediate the stress.
Basically, the gazelle stops running and starts grazing.
It may be that the gazelle has to start running again in a few minutes, but at least there is a moment of respite. The gazelle cannot simply keep running, or it will die.
What I do specifically in my meditations is use imagery and emotion to help the healing process. My meditations are less clear-your-mind and more hey-think-about-being-here. Coupled with music that engages theta brain waves, you should feel like you’re in the place between sleep and waking where you’re still kind of in a cool dream about something cool and realizing your alarm is going off “in real life.”
You are most open to suggestion and healing in that place. Your brain begins to emit all of the right chemicals to match that healing state, and your reproductive orgrans wake up a bit each time you go there.
Hey, I may or may not have prayed to all kinds of fertility gods, sang kumbaya, turned around in a certain number of circles, “saged” my house, and all kinds of other hippie things to be a mom. May as well try meditation, right?
Go meditate and be well,
P.S. You can get one of my brand spankin’ new meditations by completing the survey over on the right-hand sidebar. It’ll take you less than 2 minutes. Hurry, though…This offer expires 10/30/15.
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