Emotional Freedom Technique: Dealing with Anxiety

So, I tried to explain the Emotional Freedom Technique on a recent podcast (Fear Soup), but it’s really a very visual thing.  So, I decided to get visual for ya!  If you are struggling with anxiety during your fertility struggle, try EFT for solid, quick relief.  It’s strange how well this works!

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What’s the deal with food and fertility?

So I polled the peeps on my mailing list what they would like to know about food and fertility. Because, dang if there isn't a crap ton of information out there.  I remember eating crazy amounts of pineapple, avoiding coffee like the plague (while secretly...

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8 Hugs a Day

I'm hokey sometimes. Okay, maybe a wee bit more than sometimes.  What can I say?  I dig the smiles that are brought on by cheesy lines of hope.  Occasionally the smile is in tandem with an eye-roll, but it's all good. I'm enjoying this particular post, however,...

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MHFP 013: Breaking the Baby Lack Cycle

After a friggin’ loooong time TTCing, we tend to get caught up in thinking it’ll never work. Thoughts like, “I’ll never be a mom” and “I’m a failure” are common place. In this episode, learn how to break that thinking cycle!

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An Amazing Infertility Cure!

I was looking through some of my old blog posts recently.  I once did a writing challenge that prompted us to write about a "Ridiculous Cure," and (of course!) infertility sprang to mind. For this prompt, I just had to make up my own ridiculous headline.  A few years...

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MHFP 002: Get Mindful, Baby!

In this episode of the Miracles Happen Fertility Podcast, you’ll hear:

What the frig is Mindfulness?
Why is it super freakin’ important for navigating infertility?
How do I do it?
Where do I start?

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Cinderella Doesn’t Poop!

Dreams are weird. This one was no exception. There's this perception that therapists are supposed to be able to analyze dreams, but um....that's not me.  I once dreamt of losing all of my teeth and wanted to high tail it to the dentist.  But, apparently those dreams...

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A little gem on how to deal with infertility

One of the biggest struggles when dealing with infertility is the fact that it seemingly becomes a full-time job.  There is so much planning to do on top of the regular doctor visits, tests, monitoring, etc.  When you throw the emotional setbacks on top of that,...

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Sometimes you just have to #startasking

  If you've read my uber popular Choosing Adoption series, you know that I'm into signs.  Not like road signs and billboards (though I do have a healthy collection of old Elvis movie poster tins...hee hee). I mean signs from the Universe.   (P.S. If you haven't read...

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What to do when your heart is breaking

  It's like a slow, rumbling roar, isn't it? When you've just learned that something good in your life is gone (like that last little shred of hope you'd been clinging to), you sense the stun like a heavyweight champion's blow to the jaw.  Then, of course, you stay...

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From Gutter to Stars

  Back when I first started my professional blog, I named it "From Gutter to Stars."  And, even though I've since moved the blog to this site, I still love that title. Today I'm revisiting an old post explaining why, since it's still super meaningful for me and even...

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Don’t Die with Your Music Still Inside You

Today I'm sharing an interview I recently gave over at The Donor Group.  They have tons of great information on donor gametes, IVF, and all other kinds of fertility stuff.  You should totally go check them out.  Here's what they asked me:   Tell us a little bit about...

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This one awesome thing helped ring in the new year

Sometimes it's super difficult for me to believe how ridiculously quick time floats by.  This morning I popped in a CD my sister had made me years ago called "The 80s" and had a grand ol' time rocking out to the tunes in my car. Well....as much as one can "rock out"...

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3 Ways to Handle the Holidays During IF

Ah yes.  Those fabulous holidays.  When you are trying to conceive, the holidays can feel like one giant, booming reminder of how you haven't completed your family yet and how another year has passed without your dream coming true. In short, it's torture. I've...

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Choosing Adoption (Part 3) – AKA The Beginning

IN HONOR OF NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH, I AM TELLING MY ADOPTION STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PUBLIC (THE RAW, UNEDITED, NON-ANONYMOUS VERSION...EEP!). FOR PART 1, GO HERE.  For Part 2, GO HERE. If you caught the cliffhanger in Part 2 of this story, I'm providing evidence...

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Choosing Adoption Story (Part 2)

In honor of National Adoption Month, I am telling my adoption story for the first time in public (the raw, unedited, non-anonymous version...eep!).  For part 1, go HERE. Despite my newfound Zen, I was nervous. Like, really nervous. Weirdly, all of the emotions that...

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Choosing Adoption (Part 1)

I think one of the hardest things to convey to people who have not adopted is how miraculous it feels.  I used to worry that it would feel as if adoption was second best, and that I'd always lament not having "my own child." That couldn't be further from the truth.  I...

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The Relax-and-It’ll-Happen Blahs

 Ah yes...the ol' "relax and it'll happen" thing.  Have any of you wanted to punch someone in the nose for saying that to you?  What are the other variations?  "Oh, just go on vacation."  Or "Hey we just got drunk one night, and oops...!"   To someone going through...

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Vulnerability

I remember the first time I went to a therapist.  I felt like I would die of shame, because I CRIED!  Oh the mortification!  I mean, I know I'm dealing with some terrible shit, I would say, but to CRY in front of a stranger??  Hell no! And then I did it. And I was so...

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When Awesome Stuff Happens

You know that thing when stuff happens, and you can't quite believe that it actually happened?  It can be good or bad.  My sister was in a bad car accident last year, and I remember her saying, "Yeah it was kind of weird at first.  Like I didn't believe it happened."...

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That Whole Balance Thing

   You know those people that love to give a ton of advice, but they do the exact opposite of what they advise?  It's like they say, "Eat well and exercise!" from the comfort of their couch, accessorized with a gallon of chocolate chip chunk, while wielding the...

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Why Positive Thoughts Aren’t Everything

I'll be the first one to tell you that I am a sunshine-and-rainbows kinda gal. I (mostly) always see the bright side of things and am able to find silver linings in even the darkest places. The glass is always half full - unless, of course, you consider the air in it,...

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That Holiday…YOU Know the One

Republished from 2012, because it's awesome and still applies: Have you seen them?  I doubt you've had a chance to miss them (unless you've decided to hibernate under a rock, which I would totally understand).  You know what I'm talking about... The 50,000 neon signs...

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Do You Really Think Like That?

The other day I went to my local library to pick up an audio I had put on hold.  As the librarian checked my items out, he pointed at one, looked at me, and raised his eyebrows.  At first I thought it was the subject matter he was silently remarking on (my usual...

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She lives!

Okay Lovelies, I have been missing (yet again) from the blogosphere THIS time for almost a whole year.  EEP!  But I'm still here! Alive and well! And boy have I been working on some awesomeness for YOU! I was just re-reading my last post and guffawed, because I...

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Nine months later…

...And that has nothing whatsoever to do with pregnancy! It's been Nine. Whole. Months. since I last posted!  I'm going through a bit of withdraw at this point.  I miss the blogosphere and recently realized how much so after the flurry of action surrounding National...

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A Break

I love writing.  I especially love writing about the emotional and wild ride of infertility, and it's the sole reason I chose it for my dissertation topic. It's a good thing I chose it, because dissertation is in my head nearly all day every day (and probably when I...

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ICLW and Daydreams

Welcome ICLWers!  You can find my welcome on the tab at the top.  Short story: I'm a therapist who dealt with infertility for a long time before I said enough to ART and decided to adopt.  Been through the ringer just like you, and I get it.  Welcome! Shameless...

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More Mother’s Day Coping

I received this lovely email the other day from the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center and knew I had to pass it on. I'm not sure how I feel about #4, but I understand how it can be helpful for people.  Warning: The Stuck documentary is extremely emotional...

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It’s Around the Corner…

I was reading through some old posts about that fabulous (eh-hem) holiday that most people in the infertility community have some trouble with:  Mother's Day. Oh yes...it's back. Some women struggle, because it is a reminder that they are not yet mothers.  Some women...

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Join the Movement: An Ah-Ha Moment

I remember well the day it happened. I was sitting on the back patio holding a stick.  His favorite stick.  The lavender was newly blooming, the fragrance enveloping me, and the bees flicked around the purple stalks making a loud buzzing sound impossible to ignore.  I...

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HAWMC Day 17: Organic Happy Carrots

HAWMC Day 17, here we are!  You can start with day 1 here. Yesterday's post was a temporary reprieve from HAWMC...just had to say a few words about Boston. Today's prompt:  Go to wordle.net to create a word cloud or tree from a list of words associated with your...

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Spread Love

I don't watch the news. I have a tendency to be sensitive to others' emotions, both positive and negative (like most therapists).  Watching the news -- which seems to be endlessly negative -- is, therefore, a big no-no for me. Who could not, however, watch the events...

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HAWMC Day 15: Inspired Happiness

Hello, hello, Day 15!  I've missed the last two days of posts; nonetheless, today's post marks a momentous occasion.  I've met my 13-post goal for this HAWMC!  Wah-hoo!  What's even cooler, is that I plan on participating for the rest of the challenge, and may even...

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HAWMC Day 12: Advocate and Breathe

  Hello to Day 12 of HAWMC.  It's been a great ride so far. Today's prompt: If you could go back in time and talk to yourself on the day of diagnosis, what would you say? This one is simple for me: Speak up and be your own advocate!  Upon diagnosis, I'm pretty sure I...

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HAWMC Day 11: Find Me Gluten Free

Welcome to HAWMC Day 11!  You can start with Day 1 here. Technology got the best of me today.  My Macbook randomly stopped charging, and the battery is so old that it doesn't hold a charge anymore.  Thus, I was out of a computer for a good 6 hours.  I text my husband,...

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HAWMC Day 10: Favorite Picture

Welcome to Day 10 of HAWMC!  You can start with Day 1 here. Today's prompt for Wordless Wednesday: It's often hard to like pictures of ourselves -- post your favorite picture of yourself. I happen to have a few favored pictures of myself; not because of how I look in...

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HAWMC Day 9: Being Present

It's Day 9 of the HAWMC; you can start with Day 1 here. Today's prompt:  Patients, what advice or tips do you have for caregivers out there -- professional or otherwise? Because I'm a caregiver, I have the unique opportunity to be both patient and professional within...

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HAWMC Day 8: If Infertility Were an Animal

It's the second week and Day 8 of HAWMC, and I'm well on my way to my 13-post goal for this year's challenge.  Ya-hoo! You can start with Day 1 here. Today's prompt:  If your health condition (or the health condition of a loved one) was an animal, what would it be? ...

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HAWMC Day 7: Ridiculous Cure Headline

Hi everyone!  It's Day 7 of HAWMC, and I am having a ridiculously good time with today's prompt.  If you get sarcasm, you just may get a giggle out of it, too. You can start with Day 1 of HAWMC here. Today's prompt:  Share a ludicrous headline or cure. Do a news...

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HAWMC Day 6: A Letter to Infertility

Hi all!  It's Day 6 of the HAWMC and an absolutely gorgeous day here on the East Coast (finally!).  Dare I say Spring has arrived? You can start with Day 1 of HAWMC here. Today's prompt:  Write a letter to your condition -- what do you want to get off your chest? I've...

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HAWMC Day 5: Thinking BIG!

It's Day 5 of HAWMC....still going strong here.  Wah-hoo!  You can start with Day 1 here. Today's prompt: If I could do anything as a Health Activist..."  Think big today!  Money/time/physical limitations are no longer an issue.  What is your biggest goal that is now...

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HAWMC Day 4: Favorite Things

It's Day 4 of the HAWMC 2013, and I am diggin' the way this is going.  I'm learning a lot and feeling all involved and stuff. You can start with Day 1 here. Today's Prompt: Create a "care page" -- a list of your best resources that someone who is newly diagnosed could...

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HAWMC Day 3: Wordless Wednesday

HAWMC Day 3: Post a picture that symbolizes your condition and your experiences. You can find Day 1 here.   Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our defilements and sufferings of...

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HAWMC Day 2: Sharing Old Posts

It's Day 2 of the HAWMC.  I'm officially on a roll.  Yay me!You can start with Day 1 here.   Don't know what the heck I'm talking about?  I'll give the link to you one more time: HAWMC.  Check it out!  Good times to be had. Today's prompt: Share links to 3-5 of your...

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HAWMC Day 1: Intro

It's April Fool's Day!  Reminds me of a short video I saw recently where the speaker was talking about wisdom.  He said something to the effect of the more wise we get, the more foolish we realize we are.  So, it's really April Wiseperson's Day. Kinda. Okay, well for...

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Disordered or Not — That is the Question

There was a heated Twitter chat last Wednesday that raised a few questions and really got me thinking.  I'm happy to report that I still have a few brain cells left even after all of that dissertation writing, so I thought I'd think out loud, write about it here, and...

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Happy ICLW!

Hi and welcome!  Per my last post, it's been quite a while since I last posted, and I am so happy to be back contributing and reading others' updates, good news, bad news, offering support, etc.  You can read my ICLW welcome here.  ...

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Reset

You know when you're on a roll for a while, and you fall off the proverbial bandwagon?  And you stay fallen for, oh, six months or so?  Um, yeah...that's been my blog-writing style of late.  Who knew the style of non-writing was so powerful -- eh-hem -- or not.  That...

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Putting IF in Its Place

Welcome ICLWers!  If you're coming to this blog from other than ICLW, please check out the box on the right column and see what it's all about!  Go ahead...connect with others who "get it."  You won't be sorry you did. I'm a therapist specializing in infertility and...

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They’re coming! Those Darned Holidays

It's September.  2012.  Sometimes I cannot get a full grasp on how fast time goes, can you? Coupled with infertility, time going by fast is not a good thing.  When you suddenly realize that the friend who was first "trying" with you now has a 5-, and 3-year-old, it...

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Welcome ICLW! Some Funnies for You…

Hello to ICLWers (and everyone else, of course)!  I'm a therapist who's dealt with infertility and adoption, and I like to write about how to maneuver those crazy waters even when you feel like you're about to sink.  No easy task for sure.  Welcome, and I hope you...

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Disappearing Act and The Red Thread

That would be three months of disappearing (chagrin, chagrin).  Whoa.  My apologies for that lovely disappearing act. On to Act II entitled "Sticking Around So People Don't Get Confused and Wonder If the Therapist Has Abandoned Them Without More Fabulous Resources to...

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Welcome ICLWers!

Happy ICLW to everyone out in the blogosphere!  It's always such a great time during this week to connect with others and read new and interesting blogs. Welcome to From Gutter to Stars -- You can read all about the blog title here.  I'm a psychotherapist specializing...

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Scientific Art

It used to be that the science of psychology was not a science at all. When I received my undergraduate degree in psychology, it was a Bachelor's of Art. Admittedly, there are a few parts of psychology that are an art still. But, most of this world has learned how to...

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Got a Minute?

Sometimes the experience of infertility (or any mental health issue, really) is so overwhelming and disorienting that we have trouble keeping our thoughts together.  We continue to try to think our way through it all the while dealing with some pretty intense...

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Infertility in a Word Cloud

This is the last day of HAWMC!  Of the 30 posts this month, I completed a grand total of... ::drum roll:: Fifteen. Hm.  I think it's safe to say that I will not be grabbing that fabulous HAWMC badge that says I completed 30 posts in 30 days and posting it on this...

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Don’t Ignore: Your Feelings

Today HAWMC (Day 23) says we can write about whatever we like!  Most excellent! (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here) Today I'd like to focus on this year's theme for National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW): Don't Ignore Infertility.  Since I'm a therapist, I...

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Poetry, Acronyms, & Nonsense! Oh My!

Welcome NIAW, ICLW, and HAWMC bloggers! Holy cow is that ever a lot of acronyms.  Lemme 'splain.. NIAW = National Infertility Awareness Week by RESOLVE.  Though this blog is already dedicated to the disease of infertility, NIAW is an opportunity to connect with all...

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Feel Like Giving Up?

Okay... I think it's pretty clear that my schedule isn't going to allow for daily writing.  I'm sorry WEGO Health!  I will continue to write as much as I possibly can on a weekly basis! Today is Day 18 of HAWMC, and the prompt is actually quite awesome:  Pick up a...

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My Dream Day

HAWMC Day 14 asks us to write about our "dream day." (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here) I read an article recently (and dangit, I can't remember where, or I'd link it up for you) where the author stated something like, "If I always had good moments, how would I know...

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The Things in My Head (Scared?)

Apologies for the radio silence over the last couple of days.  I'll cover HAWMC's Days 12 and 13 today. (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here) Day 12 is "Stream of Consciousness Day."  I know....um, what?  It's actually a unique blog-writing style that I usually engage...

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Talkin’ ’bout 16

Today's HAWMC prompt for Day 10 encourages us to write a note to our 16-year-old self.  SO many things to tell our 16-year-old selves, right? (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here) Interestingly, I did this very exercise on a private blog several months ago, and it was...

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Use Your Senses

Okay, this is a fun one.  Today's HAWMC challenge for Day 9 is to develop our own "Keep Calm" poster. (You can begin at HAWMC Day 1 here) You know those posters right?  I remember the first one I saw was in Barnes and Noble saying, "Keep Calm, and Have a Cupcake."  I...

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No Worries

Day 8 HAWMC prompt asks us to write about our best conversation this week. (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here) I recently bought a car, and there was a slip-up at the dealer resulting in my needing to go in and re-sign all of the paperwork.  The finance manager called...

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What TO Do

The prompt for HAWMC Day 7 invites bloggers to write about anything we choose.  That's when I start getting super overwhelmed.  LOL.  As a result...I shall point to one of my favorite infertility resources: Infertility Etiquette. (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here)...

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Infertility Haiku

Day 6 of HAWMC challenges us to write a haiku regarding our health focus.     (You can start with Day 1 here)  Here's my haiku:     Infertility   Pain, loss, fatigue long for smiles    Then the son shown bright.     This haiku is meant to illustrate simply the...

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Your Moonray

Today's HAWMC post (#5) asks us to find a random photo on Flickr and write about it, hopefully linking it back to our health topic of choice. (You can start at HAWMC #1 here) Though I can't show the image here due to copyrights, I'll link it up for you: Moonlit How...

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I Write Because…

HAWMC's Day 4 prompts asks us health advocates to write about why we write about health.  Whoa...a mouthful there.  I even had to re-read that. (You can start at HAWMC Day 1 here.) When I was dealing with infertility, I always thought there had to be a reason why I...

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Quotation Inspiration

The Day 2 prompt for HAWMC is about choosing a quote and writing about it freely for 15 minutes.  As tempting as it was, I decided not to cheat and reference the already-written post about the quote that inspired this blog title. The next quote that popped in my head...

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HAWMC

Can you believe April is here?  I'd be lying if I said I'm certain 2012 has arrived, let alone April 2012.  I saw someone the other day wearing a fantastic shirt that I would've worn in the early 90s, so you can understand my confusion at times.  But alas, in April...

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Play: Go Get Some

Do you remember when you were a kid and you'd play hide-and-seek with a few kids in the neighborhood?  Or maybe you were the one who got some of the other kids together and put on a play for your neighborhood?  Perhaps you pretended you were a rock star and wielded...

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8 Hugs a Day

I'm hokey sometimes. Okay, maybe a wee bit more than sometimes.  What can I say?  I dig the smiles that are brought on by cheesy lines of hope.  Occasionally the smile is in tandem with an eye-roll, but it's all good. I'm enjoying this particular post, however,...

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Even When You’re in the Gutter…

When I was in the midst of my infertility struggle, it was madness and darkness nearly every day.  Colors literally seemed more dull, I was sad constantly, and thanks to those fabulous fertility drugs, well, let's just say my thoughts weren't always rational. I don't...

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The ol’ Intro

You know how you have the best intentions?  Like that gym membership that says ever so quietly, "I'm here," as you drive by thinking, "I should probably visit there someday."  Meanwhile your jeans get tighter. *sigh* I've had the best intentions about starting this...

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